Colton Underwood’s Path to Peace: Reflecting on the Past Amid a New Reality TV Chapter
The world first met Colton Underwood as the earnest, virgin football player on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette. He was then cast as the lead of The Bachelor’s 23rd season, a journey that culminated in a dramatic fence jump and an engagement to Cassie Randolph. His story, however, took a sharp and controversial turn post-show, leading to a period of intense public scrutiny and personal turmoil. Now, as he steps back into the reality TV spotlight with Netflix’s The Ultimatum: Queer Love, Underwood is doing so with a new identity, a new partner, and a sober perspective on the mistakes of his past.
This isn’t just another TV gig; it’s a public chapter in a very private journey of redemption, self-acceptance, and healing.
The Shadow of the Past: Stalking Allegations and a Public Breakdown
Following his televised breakup with Randolph in 2020, Underwood’s behavior became a focal point of tabloid headlines. In September 2020, Randolph filed a request for a restraining order, alleging that Underwood had engaged in persistent stalking and harassment, including placing a tracking device on her car. The case was dropped weeks later when Randolph asked the court to dismiss it, with both parties stating they had “reached a private agreement.”
The incident, however, severely damaged Underwood’s public image. He was widely criticized and became a pariah in the franchise that made him famous. The pressure and shame culminated in what he has described as a mental health crisis.
In a watershed moment, he came out as gay in a deeply emotional interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America in April 2021. He directly connected his struggles with his sexuality to his past actions.
“I was petrified,” Underwood told Roberts. “I would have rather died than say, ‘I’m gay.’ And I think that was sort of my wake-up call… I was emotionally unavailable. I was mentally unwell. I was… not in a good place.”
This admission reframed the entire narrative. It didn’t excuse his behavior, but it provided a critical context for a man grappling with a profound internal conflict that ultimately spilled over and hurt someone else.
A New Foundation: Marriage, Therapy, and Fatherhood
Since coming out, Underwood’s life has been one of intentional rebuilding. He began dating political strategist Jordan C. Brown, and the couple married in 2023. Their family grew with the birth of their son, via surrogate, in 2024. This stable, loving environment stands in stark contrast to the chaos of his Bachelor years.
Central to his transformation has been a commitment to therapy and mental health advocacy. He has been open about undergoing intensive treatment to address his anxiety, depression, and the internalized homophobia that plagued him for decades.
Dr. Emily Sanders, a clinical psychologist specializing in LGBTQ+ mental health (who is not treating Underwood), notes the profound impact this kind of journey can have. “When someone lives in the closet, especially under immense public pressure, it creates a state of constant fight-or-flight. This can lead to maladaptive coping mechanisms, paranoia, and destructive behavior. Coming out and engaging in therapy isn’t just about authenticity; it’s about dismantling the survival mechanisms that no longer serve you and taking full accountability for your actions. It’s a complete rewiring.”
This journey of accountability is precisely what Underwood is bringing to his new role on The Ultimatum: Queer Love. He isn’t there as a contestant but as a guest host, offering guidance to other couples navigating their relationships.
Stepping Back into the Arena: The Ultimatum as a Platform for Reflection
His casting was met with mixed reactions. Many fans were skeptical, questioning whether someone with his history should be in a position to counsel others on healthy relationships. This criticism is not lost on Underwood.
In various press interviews for the show, he has directly addressed the elephant in the room. He acknowledges that his past makes him an unlikely choice, but argues it also gives him a unique perspective.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my past and in my past relationships, but I never ran from them,” he told Entertainment Weekly. “I own them, and I’ve done a lot of work to better myself… I hope that people can see that it’s possible to learn and grow and become a better person.”
His role on the show allows him to practice what he preaches. He doesn’t position himself as an expert with all the answers, but as a facilitator who has been through the wringer and emerged with hard-won lessons about communication, honesty, and self-worth.
Public and Social Media Reaction: A Measured Response
The public reaction to his return has been a nuanced mix of support, caution, and criticism. A clip from the show featuring Underwood has sparked significant conversation.
Embedded Video Link: Colton Underwood on The Ultimatum: Queer Love | Official Clip | Netflix
Social media reactions highlight the divide:
-
Supportive View: “Say what you want about Colton, but his journey is a testament to the work therapy can do. He’s clearly in a much healthier place and his perspective is valuable.” – @InspiredGrowth
-
Critical View: “It’s wild to me that Netflix chose a man with a restraining order for stalking to be a relationship expert on a show about queer couples. There are so many qualified LGBTQ+ people out there.” – @CriticalTVFan
-
Neutral/Observational: “Regardless of how you feel about him, it’s fascinating to see Colton in a queer space after his season of The Bachelor. Full circle moment, for better or worse.” – @PopCultureDeepDive
This spectrum of responses is telling. It shows an audience that is increasingly savvy, holding reality stars accountable for off-screen actions while also being open to narratives of growth and change.
Conclusion: A Continuous Journey, Not a Destination
Colton Underwood’s story is a complex modern parable about fame, identity, and accountability. His return to reality TV is not an erasure of his past mistakes, but an attempt to integrate them into a new, more authentic life. He is leveraging his platform not to hide, but to demonstrate the ongoing, difficult work of becoming a better person.
The true measure of his redemption will not be found in TV ratings or social media likes, but in the sustained health of his private life and his continued commitment to owning his story in its entirety. As he reflects on his past mistakes amid this new chapter, he offers a powerful, if complicated, lesson: that the path to peace is often paved with missteps, and that growth is only possible when we are brave enough to confront the parts of ourselves we’d rather keep hidden.
